S4E7: LOYALTY
1 TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
Your best friend comes to you with a confession. They say they have to tell someone, but they need you to keep what they say secret.
Before you have a chance to agree or disagree, they tell you that they are having an affair.
They feel terrible about it, but they can’t deny that they are in love. They’re trying to work out what to do, but in the meantime, they just needed to tell someone.
A few weeks later, their spouse, who you know well, sends you a text saying
“Hey, hope you’re doing well. I need to ask you something. When’s a good time to call?”
You procrastinate replying for a while and then reluctantly give them a time.
They call and say: “As you know, we have a big anniversary coming up and I want to do something really special. I’ve been saving up and I want to pay for us to go on a special surprise trip, somewhere we’ve never been before. Do you have any ideas about secret favourite destinations?”
You reply “Oh! Hmm, I’m not sure. I’ll think about it and get back to you.”
They say, “Ok, great. Promise me you won't tell and spoil the surprise!”
You say “Haha, mmm” and hang up.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
What would you do in this situation?
Where does loyalty come into this story?
How important is secret keeping for loyalty?
Are you complicit in your friend’s affair if you stay loyal to your friend and don’t tell the spouse?
What do you do when two loyalties pull in different directions?
Could you ask anyone for advice, or would that be betraying your friend’s loyalty?
Can loyalty be bad in certain situations?
This thought experiment is by Bonny Astor, founder of TEiP. You can read more of her thought experiments and other writing here.
2 LOYALTY PROGRAMME
Pierre has just opened a café. It’s small and nondescript, but he has big plans for it. He wants it to become one of the top cafés in London.
Every day after work, Pierre’s friends drop by while he’s closing up. They like to help him brainstorm ideas for the business while he shuts down the espresso machine and wipes surfaces. Today they’re talking about types of customer.
Charlotte: “Regular customers mean you have a reliable source of income. You can depend on them because they depend on you. It’s reciprocal.”
Polina: “They also clog up tables and prevent new people from experiencing the café. If you want wide appeal and a resilient business, you have to bring new people in, not just the same people over and over again.”
Charlotte: “Regulars can help you get new customers, through word of mouth and by making it look busy when people walk past. A busy cafe sells itself, an empty one does the opposite. I think regulars are as important as interior design.”
Polina: “Ok lets say some regulars are important, how do you get them? Loyalty programme?”
Charlotte: “Could do…that would incentivise people to come back.”
Zoe: “The way you guys are talking about regular customers is a bit depressing. I get your points, Charlotte, and I think you’re right, but I think loyalty comes from an authentic place. It comes from familiarity, respect and a sense of belonging, not incentives. Loyalty programmes are like bribing people to be your friend.”
Charlotte says: “A lot of people are disconnected and alone and they don’t know how to make friends, or experience belonging. If you give them a financial incentive to come back to the same place and meet the same people over and over again, I bet they’ll feel better and more connected. A loyalty programme just incentivises them towards connection.”
On his next day off, Pierre visits 20 cafés in the area to see what works and what doesn’t. One of the things he notices is that almost all of them had loyalty cards or apps.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
Regulars:
How important are regulars?
How does someone become a regular?
Does being a regular mean you are a ‘loyal’ customer?
Business:
If you were Pierre, would you implement a loyalty programme?
What other strategies might you use to encourage loyal customers?
How important is loyalty in business?
Loyalty:
Does loyalty have to be unconditional to be true?
What counts as loyalty?
This thought experiment is by Bonny Astor, founder of TEiP. You can read more of her thought experiments and other writing here.
3 IDEAL WORLD
Marley is in her first year of University, studying psychology.
Yesterday, she learned about Hofstede’s Individualism Index (HII) and it’s got her thinking.
During a cigarette break in the garden of their shared house, Marley tells Janet what she learned:
“So this guy, Hofstede, studied differences between national cultures and came up with a few different spectrums of variation. One of them is the ‘Collectivism - Individualism’ spectrum.
On one end, there are ‘collectivist cultures’ like Guatemala and China, with low individualism scores: 6 and 20, respectively. In collectivist cultures, “people belong to in-groups or collectivities which are supposed to look after them in exchange for loyalty” (Hofstede, 2015).
On the other end, there are ‘individualist cultures’, like Australia (90) and the USA (91), where people are expected to “look out for themselves and their immediate family only” (Hofstede, 2015).
Obviously this is reductive, but it's got me thinking about places I’ve been to and people I’ve met.”
Janet asks: “Which countries are in the middle? Surely it’s best to be there? The middle path and all that?”
Marley consults her notes: “In the middle are: Argentina (46), Japan (46), India (48), Spain (51)” (the higher the score, the more ‘individualist’ a country is; Hofstede, 2015)
Janet says: “Which do you think is best? Collectivist or Individualist, or somewhere in the middle?”
Marley says: “I don’t know if any of them are ‘best’, I guess I like a lot of aspects of individualism but that’s probably because I grew up in an individualist culture. The UK scores just behind USA and Australia at 89. So I guess I’m probably biased, but I like the freedom of being an individual
One of the things my lecturer said yesterday was:
In Individualist cultures, people’s self-concept is “I”; in Collectivist cultures, people’s self-concept is “we”.... I definitely think of myself as “I”.
Janet says: “I do too, but I think I’d prefer a bit more of a sense of we. I think lots of people would. I doubt there’s a loneliness crisis in the collectivist cultures.”
Marley replies: “You can feel alone in a crowd if you don’t fit in. I think it would be pretty tough to feel like you don’t fit in in one of those cultures.”
Janet: “So back to the middle path, somewhere in between. Don’t you think the whole world would be happier with a nice balance? I wish I could make that happen.”
Janet stubs out her cigarette. Moments later, there’s a puff of smoke that seems to come from nowhere. A translucent blue Genie appears, floating a few inches above the ground. He says: “Did I hear talk of a wish?”
Marley groans: “Oh no.”
Janet says: “Yes. I would like to make the world more harmonious, I’d like everyone to have the benefits of both individualism and collectivism.”
Genie: “Ah Ha! So you’d like to have your cake and eat it… you’d like the best of both worlds…you’d like the grass to be greener on both sides and you’d like to be in the middle, correct?”
Janet: “Can you do that?”
The Genie replies: “What do you think?”
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
Spectrum
Why do you think loyalty to social groups is more important in some cultures and less important in others?
How do you think these cultures differ in everyday life?
Which extreme do you think is healthier for humans? Why?
Cake
Is it possible to have the benefits of both individualism and collectivism? To “have your cake and eat it”?
What are the trade-offs between individualism and collectivism?
Your score
Where on the Index would you like to exist?
Why do you think you hold this opinion? Where does it come from?
Would you like more freedom, or more social ties?
This thought experiment is by Bonny Astor, founder of TEiP. You can read more of her thought experiments and other writing here.
Additional source: Hofstede, G. (2015). Dimension data matrix (Version 2015 12 08) [Data set].
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